We treat ourselves the way our parents treated us!
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte
If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.
If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.
If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in
those about him.
If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in
which to live.
If a child lives with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.
With what is your child living?
Self-Esteem
And your children will treat themselves as you now treat them. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. It is the number one determinant for whether our children will be happy and successful in the world or disconnected and dysfunctional.
We build our self-images from the words, body language, attitudes and judgments of the important people around us when growing up, mostly from our parents. Our own self-image is largely the result of how our parents felt about us and how they conveyed those feelings to us.
How we feel about ourselves affects us in all areas of our lives…self-worth, self-acceptance and self-confidence are directly proportional to self-esteem. Therefore, the more we feel good about ourselves the more we end up doing positive things. And, on the other hand, the more we don’t feel good about ourselves, the more dysfunction of all kinds will follow.
Appropriate Discipline
Appropriate discipline is “where there is demonstrable love and involvement combined with firm boundaries and consequences. Reasonable explanations of limits are given in a setting of warmth and respect”. (Baumrind, 1971)
How close do the child-rearing methods you’re using with your children come to this definition? If you don’t like the answer that you come up with, I can help you get closer to this definition.
Fulfilling one’s potential
The word discipline comes from the Greek “to teach”. With appropriate discipline we can teach our children to become happy, successful, mature, responsible members of society.
Inappropriate discipline leaves a child feeling:
- fearful
- insecure
- unloved/uncared for
- unable to sooth self except by using,
drugs, alcohol, or other distractions
- unable to be happy or successful in
the world
Appropriate discipline teaches a child:
- how to discipline themselves
- responsibility/confidence
- to feel loved/cared for
- how to self-sooth/love themselves
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